Eh eh eh [clears throat],

Clubbers,

It has come to my attention that we’ve made it through Cross Country season.  By some glorious grace of God, we’re now free from pounding kilometers around a gravel loop for some time.  Congratulations.

You guys made me unbelievably proud this year, and especially this weekend.  I think I saw some of the best races ran by you guys yet yesterday, and that’s something special and something to be proud of.  I hope everyone is happy with their performances and the memories they are taking away from this trip to Pennsylvania.  Of course, while we are done running cross for the next year and have track to look forward to, what this really means is…

Now, I’ve heard much talk and speculation about this week.  But let’s get the facts straight.

1. I will not be leading any official runs this week.  Why?  BECAUSE ITS FLIPPIN FRISBEE ALL WEEK.  Don’t get caught running, or you lose points in the power rankings.  Toss a good throw, get points.  Nasty catch, get points.  Go up against Evan and come down with the disc????? GAIN FLIPPIN POINTS.
   1. (Of course if you have no interest in participating, you are more than welcome to come run at club, however, it should be noted that this is the less respectable route to success and happiness)
2. CHASE LATE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT.  Here’s where the real absurdity takes place – every night, we head to late night to eat.  Eat what, you may ask?  Whatever you want.  And as much of it as you can handle.  Numbers get you points, and impressive concoctions (in number) do the same as well.  We’re talking 12 plates of pizza, cups of hot sauce, you name it.  Just don’t let anything you put down come back up, or you lose points in the power rankings.  And for God’s sake, do not eat off a plate circling the conveyer belt.  You will be shamefully expelled from the power rankings. 
3. Power rankings will be released either at the end of every night or start of every morning. Any evidence I receive, whether good or bad, will be taken into consideration.  Final power rankings will be announced after Frisbee on Friday.  

Following are some photos of impressive performances from last year, including former race director David eating 1,000 grapes, and Gabe eating something like 24 slices of pizza.  

Now that you guys (hopefully) understand the degeneracy to come, let me take a minute to do my last little bit of housekeeping for a while.  

1. Formal is this Saturday at 7:45 at the Pitch.  It will run until 9:45, at which time we will head to 703 N Columbia for a post-formal get together and celebration.  You are encouraged to bring a date, if you so choose.  Following is the RSVP for that, just so we can get a general headcount. 

2. Officer elections run this week.  Today, those running for officer positions will give blurbs at practice.  The ballot will go out tonight in the GroupMe and a separate email.  Vote once and only once.  Following are folks’ emailed paragraphs.

3. We will keep practice at 5:00 this week.  Next week, will move it back to 4:30 for the remainder of the semester.  That means we will start at 4:30, not 4:40 yada yada.  
4. Lastly, those of you who ran nationals, please return your jerseys to me if you have not done so already.  I will be washing, counting, and sorting to pass them down to the next Pres soon, so please get those to me.  

And with that, I will be away.  I look forward to seeing you all for frisbee tonight at 5:00,